Wednesday, April 6, 2011

In which some stalkers are considerably less cryptic (but still not clear)

I have had a really surreal day.

To start things off, I have a job finally! I meant to tell you guys that earlier, but this whole thing with Anya has been on my mind. Plus, it hasn't been all that long since I've got it. Today was my first day. I sort of got the hang of it by the end of my shift, which tells me that it's probably going to be a boring job. But it's work, so I am totally cool with that.

The weirdness actually started at my work. I was just leaning against the host pedestal thing, occupying myself by trying to find all the items on the menu that start with 'Z', when a group came in. So, that isn't really anything out of the ordinary. People come into resturaunts all the time, that's sort of what they're there for. But one of the people who was in the group happened to be Charles.

Yep. That Charles. He seemed to be just as surprised as me, and sort of tried to slink away. The rest of the group seemed a little shocked, too.That's when I realized that I recognized two of the others that were with him. They were there when Anya and I went to the Smithsonian. The other two people with them, a woman and an old man, were unfamiliar to me. But it was still weird, and got my paranoia senses up. My shift ended before they had finished eating, and I waited outside for them. Apparently they had been expecting that, because they didn't seem all that bothered about talking to me.

This is a very... enlightening conversation. It was also very complicated and long and I don't think I did a very good job turning it into a script. This would be the most boring movie scene ever.

Also, they all gave me names in the course of the conversation. Well, not they're real names, but funny weird code names work well enough. So before I launch into this very odd talk, I'm going to list out who they are and a brief description. Mostly so that I don't get lost myself.

Thor: One of the men I recognized. Doesn't really look like Thor. Actually, he kind of reminds me of Professor Plum from the Clue games. He's got Harold Lloyd glasses and a light brown coat that looks pretty worn.

Gabriel: The other man I recognized. He wasn't wearing a coat at all. Weird guy. He and Charles are probably the youngest of this group. I'd say they're both twenty-five or so. Probably. I didn't ask.

Yorona: I have no idea how to spell it. I barely know how to pronounce it. I think it might be Spanish. Maybe. She was about forty or so and had on a light gray jacket.

Lazarus: I think he's probably eighty or so, but like all of this, it's guesswork. I'm bad at ages. He walks really funny and has this long black trenchcoat and a wide brimmed hat. He sort of looked epic.

Charles: Well, we all know him. Still wins the award for greatest coat ever.

All right, on to the conversation.

Me: Hey.
Charles: I already told you, I can't tell you anything.
Me: I'm not asking anything.
Charles: Oh.
Me: Actually, I need to tell you something. Whatever you're doing, you're in way over your head.
Lazarus: I assure you Miss, we're very well prepared.
Me: Not for this.
Lazarus: Would you care to elaborate?
(Oh, random tidbit. I imagine Lazarus talking in a British accent. He doesn't actually have a British accent, but it does suit him)
Me: You wouldn't believe me if I did.
Lazarus: Let me hazard a guess. You have seen the man following Anya.
Me: Yes. But...
Yorona: It isn't a man. We know.
Me: WHAT! YOU KNEW? (I think I might have sworn a bit here.)
Lazarus: That's exactly why we're here. And I thank you kindly for trying to warn us, but we do know what we're doing. Anya's in good hands.
Me: Are you seriously telling me that you know how to defeat the slenderman?
(At that moment, they all sort of got quiet.)
Me: What?
Thor: How long have you known about him?
Me: I dont know. Since January I think. Why?
Gabriel: That's a bit too soon. Maybe it's just a coincidence.
Yorona: Not neccesarily. She could be linked.
Gabriel: That's still very soon. It doesn't add up. (they argued like this, with me having any idea what was going on until Lazarus interrupted them.)
Lazarus: Has Anya read anything about the slender man? Watched Marble Hornets? Anything that might give her information?
Me: Yes. It was an accident though.
Yorona: She's in danger whether it was an accident or not.
(Ability to make me feel like crap award goes to Yorona)
Me: You said you can help her? Who are you?
Thor: Noctis Custodes.
Lazarus: We're really just the D.C. branch. The Noctis are everywhere. But we are here to help. We might not be able to save Anya but we can try.
Me: How?
Lazarus: I'm afraid we can't tell you that. You already know enough to be in danger.
Me: I want to help.
Charles: You've already helped. Now that we know that he really is involved, we can get started. Keep Anya calm. Can you do that?
Me: Yeah.
Lazarus: We'll let you know if you can do anything else.

And then they left.

Somehow, I'm more confused than when there were just creepy guys stalking a ten year old.

1 comment:

  1. Ok, at this point, either someone is trying to pull an elaborate prank on you, or there's some serious shit going down. I'm choosing to believe in the former for my own sanity's sake, and, ultimately, this whole mess is my fault to begin with (hence your blog title).

    I'll keep an eye out on this coast for freaky dudes in awesome coats, though.