Wednesday, June 15, 2011

In which I talk to Lazarus

Lazarus: Glad you could make it.
AJ: Why did you ask me here?
Lazarus: Can't I just want to know how you are?
AJ: You tried to kill me.
Lazarus: I thought it was the best course of action. You were getting in the way of the exchange.
AJ: The exchange is ruined because of it, even if you had enough manpower to pull it off. You don't enter peace talks while hitting the gate with a battering ram.
Lazarus: A gate? Is that how you think of yourself?
AJ: That's what I am.
Lazarus: Tell me about yourself.
AJ: What?
Lazarus: Your favorite color, a precious memory. Anything about you that doesn't have to do with Anya or him.
AJ: Why?
Lazarus: Because the last time I saw AJ, she was still fighting this. And she wasn't doing a half bad job of it. But you're not her. You're just a shell going through her old habits. What happened to her?
AJ: She watched four people she knew die.
(Lazarus says nothing for about a minute)
Lazarus: They say they didn't find Gabriel's body. What happened?
AJ: He took him.
(He nods and sits down on a nearby chair.)
Lazarus: I sort of always knew he would. But...well, I've had all these years with Gabriel. I guess I can't regret that.
AJ: Do you regret anything?
(He laughs bitterly)
Lazarus: You truly think I'm heartless, don't you? I suppose you would. Gabriel's exchange didn't go completely smooth. His parents died. And I took him in. He's my son.
AJ: Was your son.
Lazarus: Is my son. And he always will be.
(More silence)
Lazarus: You have to keep fighting AJ.
AJ: What's the point?
Lazarus: Nothing's completely invincible. Nothing lasts forever. The more we fight him, the closer we are to winning.
AJ: Anya's doomed either way.
Lazarus: She is. I'm afraid it's too late for her. But it isn't for you. You can't... you can't let loss numb you like this. The more you do, the more he takes control.
AJ: Why do you care? You ordered my death less than a week ago.
Lazarus: If you were yourself, you'd understand. You'd ask me to kill you.
AJ: I don't think I would.
Lazarus: No, you wouldn't. That's something about you. Remember it. And please AJ. Fight this.
AJ: There's no point.
Lazarus: There's always a point. Always.


  1. There's always a point in fighting. He's right on that score.

    Listen to me very carefully AJ. This might help, it might not. You need to dunk your head in a bucket of ice-water. No fucking around, it's got to be full on slushy icewater. Then you need to look in a mirror. Tell us what you see.

    People look at things differently after having an extreme sensory shock. It also tends to disrupt varying perception altering effects and mental control. Not for very long, in the case of strong effects...but give it a shot. See what happens.

  2. ...

    You want me to dunk my head in ice water?

  3. Kid, listen to him. You need help, and you need it badly. You're letting yourself fall asleep, and as long as you're asleep, the monster has the reins. Waking up starts with a shock.

  4. I hate to say this, but lazarus is right. You have to keep fighting, you have goals, dreams, stuff you want to do before you die and he can't take that from you you can't let him! as long as there's some humanity in you, there's hope