In which I think of cherry blossoms

I'm sorry if this gets convoluted. This whole thing is crazy and I'm injured and emotional and still on morphine, though not nearly as much. So I feel like I'm going to type this up and it will make no sense. Like when you write down a dream in the middle of the night and realize the next day that you wrote 'toast'.

I slept over at Anya and Theresa's house like normal. And I told Theresa that I was going to take Anya to the museums and memorials and stuff. No reason to not let me. I've done it before. Anya seemed to know what was going on. She just put a notebook and some other stuff into a bookbag and followed me.

She was silent the entire time. I tried to talk to her once, say that I was sorry, but all she did was glare at me. I couldn't really blame her. So I just sat there with all the blame and guilt and yet, I couldn't stop. It was pulling me towards the memorial, pulling me to take Anya.

I didn't want to do it.

I went anyway, I took Anya's hand and we walked for a good ten minutes before I realized that the last time I was here was during the cherry blossom festival. That's what did it, I think. Because then even as I was walking all I could think of was cherry blossoms. How Anya laughed for once and tried to dunk me in the pond. How I had gotten into a fight with my mom about whether or not they were better than magnolias. How I thought they were ridiculously beautiful even if they were pink.

We got to the memorial eventually. Anya was still silent. I was still thinking about cherry blossoms. However, then he was there and I couldn't think of anything.

Just silence.

Walking panel by panel by panel, and all I knew was that awful silence. He had his arms out. Patient, unworried.

I was ten panels away when I thought about cherry blossoms again. Then I thought about something else.

My favorite color is blue.

Five panels away and I ran the other direction, dragging Anya with me. He ended up in front of me, and I got caught in the shoulder by a tentacle I didn't see. It flung me several feet away before he turned his attention back to Anya.

 The shoulder hurt. Still hurts. I don't know how I ignored it and got over there so fast. But I did. I did and I just grabbed Anya.

I didn't try to run this time I just stood there and held her, trying to keep her from him as long as possible. And he tried to get at her. The arms clawed and scratched and clung, but there was little they could do without hurting Anya. He stopped after a few minutes, and the arms came to a still position. And he began to assault my mind again.

I almost let go. Anya was pushing against me, and my shoulder still hurt like crazy, and I WANTED to let go. but I kept thinking about cherry blossoms and hope and third options and how even if Anya was doomed it was not going to be because of me.

And at that moment, that was what mattered. That I wasn't his. So I looked him in the eye, adjusted my grip on Anya, and flipped him off.

For a moment, nothing changed. Anya kept trying to get to him, I kept fighting to keep control of myself. But all of a sudden, it just stopped. The extra arms returned to his back, and he smiled at me.

That's when the voices started screaming.




I woke up a couple hours later in the hospital. Apparently our favorite FBI agent was at the memorial. I think he was there to arrest me, but given he probably saved my life I can't be too angry at the moment. The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that it was quiet. Not silent, but there were no voices. None at all.

The second thing I noticed was Anya sitting there next to my mother. She seemed pretty banged up, but overall unharmed. She smiled at me a bit, then nodded. And then I passed out again.

I don't know when I'll be getting out of the hospital. Apparently I'm in bad shape, and they're doing a bunch of ridiculously random tests to make sure they're not missing anything. But I'm really not that bothered. I'm alive.

Anya's alive.